Randomness Takes Over Sodor!
by Blazerkitty129
Summary: See what happens when Thomas and his friends go crazy! Random and weird things are going to happen! Rated "T" just in case.
1. The Beginning

Thomas was with his friends at Knapford Station. He was bored of doing the same boring things, going to the same boring places, and doing the same boring work.

"Why do we have such unlimited freedom?" Thomas asked his friends. "Maybe because we run on tracks?" James suggested flatly.

"Then we can run _not_ on tracks. That would be fun to attempt!" Percy peeped excitedly. "That's impossible" Gordon grumbled. Thomas sighed exasperatedly.

"I mean, why do we do the same boring work every single day when we could be doing so much more? We need to spice up our lives somehow!" Thomas said. The engines just stared at him.

"Whelp, good luck with that" Henry said as he went away. The engines all departed, leaving only Thomas to think about his idea.

"I know!" he said. "I can just convince Sir Topham Hatt to order that special type of coal from Alaksa that I heard of from the newspaper that can make us all go crazy!"

Thomas waited for him to come, and then Sir Topham Hatt teleported over, munching on a cupcake.

"Sir! I have an great idea! Can you guess what it is?!" Thomas shouted. "What? Raise my payment bill? Because that would be great" Sir Topham Hatt replied, taking another bite of his cupcake.

"No! You want us to go faster and bring you twice as much food, right?" Thomas told him. "Food?" Sir Topham Hatt immediatedly perked up at the thought of food. "_Yes_!"

"Okay. I heard of this special coal from Alaska, it makes engines go twice as fast, and twice as strong! We can bring you so much more food! Pleeeeeease?" Thomas lied.

"There's coal in Alaska? Oh whatever, I'm so ordering this coal! I want more food! Great idea, Thomas!" Sir Topham Hatt rushed over to the telephone to order the coal. Thomas smirked.

In a matter of two hours, the coal arrived and all the coal hoppers were replaced with the new special Alaskan coal. Thomas was satisfied that his plan was working.

And so the craziness starts!


	2. The Start of Weirdness!

Thomas chuffed up to Tidmouth Sheds the next morning. "GET UP, MY STEAMIES!" he yelled. His friends stared at him.

"And listen up cuz' I have a lot of important things to say!" Thomas added. "Fizzling fireboxes! That's...interesting?" Percy replied, confused.

"Wait, no. Race you all to Knapford Station!" said Thomas, getting a head start.

So all the engines raced to Knapford Station at 5,000 miles per hour, somehow fitting into all the tracks and running over many pigs on the way.

"I WIN! CUZ I AM THE FASTEST!" Gordon announced happily. "NO ONE CARES!" Edward screamed back.

"I LOVE PIE!" Percy shouted. "Oh god. We're all crazy" Henry backed away and then collided with random trucks filled with fish. "It's the Flying Kipper accident all over again! EEK!" Henry fled.

Then Fatty walked onto the platform, eating a pen and dollar. "Hey engines! You're all supposed to be doing jobs, not standing here being useless! Whatever happened to the 'really useful engines' title?!" he yelled.

"Fine. GO TO WORK, FELLOW STEAM LOCOMOTIVES!" Thomas screamed. "What's a locomotive?" Toby asked stupidly.

* * *

><p>"TO WELLSWORTH STATION, HERE I COME!" James was arriving at Wellsworth at full speed. He slammed his brakes on, and as he stopped his coaches banged into each other.<p>

"Oops" he said quietly as his passengers got out of the coaches started yelling at the stationmaster and one passenger was just yelling his head off for no apparent reason.

Gordon puffed over. "Oh Jamie, your poor passengers! You should not stop so suddenly" he laughed.

James glanced ahead of him and put on a smug expression. "At least my passengers can step onto the platform, Gordon" he smirked.

Gordon then realized that he had stopped to far from the station. "Oh, the indignity!" he exclaimed. James laughed. Then he paused.

"Wait. Did you just call me Jamie?" asked James.

"Yeah. Is there something wrong with that?" Gordon replied.

"Yes! I'm not a girl!" James yelled.

"I know. But that's your new name. Bye!" Gordon blew his whistle and raced away...forgetting that he hadn't even stopped to let his passengers depart.

* * *

><p>"YEAH PLAYERS GONNA PLAY, PLAY, PLAY! HATERS GONNA HATE, HATE, HATE! SHAKE IT OFF! SHAKE IT OFF!" Percy sang loudly at the Shunting Yards which was decorated with balloons.<p>

"SHUT UP!" Stanley screamed as it rained silver stuff. Percy gasped "You finally spoke! After years and years of just being a cameo engine, you talked!"

Stanley wasn't amused, and put on a Stanley-is-not-amused face. "Yeah. So what? I'm going back to shunting boring trucks" he said boringly, and boringly went off to shunt boring trucks.

"Geez, grumpy much?" Percy muttered, and then began singing again "MY ANACONDA DON'T, MY ANACONDA DON'T WANT NONE UNLESS YOU GOT-"

Skarloey fell down from the sky and crashed into Percy. "Don't sing such a inappropriate song! Think of the poor children!" he shouted. Then Skarloey's driver stuffed a bar of soap in Percy's mouth.

"Skarloey, you just broke the fourth wall!" Rheneas said, rolling his eyes. Percy spit out the soap. He paused. "Now my mouth feels too clean to sing such a inappropriate song. Thanks!"

"Wait. Where did you get soap?" Rheneas questioned. "I don't know! The soap store?!" Skarloey responded.

Rheneas looked confused "There's a soap store on Sodor?"

"You should know that. You've lived on this island for over 150 years" Skarloey said annoyingly, blowing steam everywhere.

Then a hobo came out and started dancing. Then Charlie told him a joke and the hobo was taken off by an eagle.

* * *

><p>"WHEEEEEEE!" Thomas sped down Gordon's Hill with a load of ice cream as if he had drunk 6,000 gallons of coffee.<p>

The ice cream spilled all over the tracks, and Gordon was coming with the express (For some reason, the engines still do their jobs even thought they've gone crazy)

"Express coming through!" he called, blowing his whistle. Then he slipped on the ice cream covered rails and crashed into a tree. "CURSE YOU, THOMAS!" Gordon yelled.

Thomas laughed manically "BUT I STILL LIKE CINNAMON BUNS!"

Paxton oiled up (is that even possible?). "What's a cinnamon bun?" he asked. Thomas replied "A bread roll filled with awesomeness!"

Paxton somehow turned around on the tracks and raced away screaming. Then Thomas teleported over to some random station on Sodor by the name Maron Station.

James and Duck were there. Duck was quacking like a duck while James was being attacked by a flock of 1 million birds.

"Ugh, get these pests off of me! They're going to spoil my paintwork!" James whined, blowing his whistle in attempt to scare the birds. That didn't work, so then he blasted steam everywhere, which only got his driver and fireman soaked.

Thomas snickered. Duck's driver then decided to use the fireman as a piñata. A stuffed pigeon fell to the ground.

Duck finally stopped quacking and asked "Hey Jamie, do you want to have one of those sheds I have for sale?"

"Did you just call me _Jamie_?! It's JAMES!" the red engine screamed annoyingly. "Whatever. Now give me your money" Duck said.

"I don't get why you need all that money. I'm sure a tank engines salary is pretty good" James replied, still letting off steam everywhere.

Duck was shocked "Are you kidding? C'mon, a mixed-traffic engine's salary is pretty good! I'm just a tank engine from the Great Western Line! Speaking of which, there are two ways of doing things, the Great Western way, and-"

Thomas hated that line, so he went away and accidentally ran over a clown. Oliver overheard what Duck was saying.

"Not again! We get it! You're obsessed with your Great Western origins!" Oliver yelled. Duck just stared at him before repeating "There are two ways of doing things, Oliver, the Great Western way, and the wrong way"

"I KNOW, I KNOW! JUST STOP!" Oliver screamed annoyingly, while James looked on very confused.

"There are two ways of doing things, Oliver, the-"

"AAAAAAAGHH!" Oliver did a slo-mo scream and then exploded as Duck kept repeating that line over and over like a broken tape recorder. How strange.

Then the Mr. Conductor guy appeared and yelled "SPARKLE SPARKLE SPARKLE!"

* * *

><p><strong>Like it? :P Please R&amp;R! :)<strong>


	3. Halloween the (Kinda) Musical

"IT'S HALLOWEEN, STEAMIES! WE MUST CELEBRATE!" Thomas announced loudly at the Steamworks where everyone was standing there doing nothing.

"And I get to sing my favorite song!" Thomas added happily.

_"_LET IT GO, LET IT GOOO! CAN'T HOLD IT BACK ANYMORE!" Thomas half-sang half-screamed irrelevantly.

"Honestly, Thomas, Frozen came about almost a year ago! And what does that have to do with Halloween?!" Diesel muttered.

"Nothing. That's the point. Plus I don't think he really cares" Toby whispered back.

"Dang, you sing _loud!"_ 'Arry said. "And terrible! My ears are bleeding!" a random little boy dressed as Spider Man added.

Thomas looked offended. But then he smiled and said "Wanna hear some more?"

"NOOO!" they all screamed. Thomas ignored them.

"HERE I STAND, IN THE LIGHT OF DAAAAY, LET THE STORM RAGE OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!" Thomas hit the last note so loud and horribly all the windows and items made out of glass on Sodor shattered everywhere.

"Now that's a coloratura" Gordon said. "I can't hear anything" Duck peeped. "What?" Toby questioned. "What?" Duck replied.

"What?"

"Wut?"

"WHAAAAT?!"

This went on for quite a while...

"It's so sad! We can't get into costumes for Halloween!" Porter broke into hysterics.

"Well...the kids are going trick or treating! Let's go scare them! Who's with me?!" Percy said.

"MEEEEE!" James replied, falling from the sky and landing in front of Percy. He attempted to laugh evilly "I'll hide and use my whistle to scare them!" he added mischievously.

"Okay. Quick, there's some trucks full of flour near the Shunting Yards. So we can go crash into them and then look like ghosts!" Percy suggested. James wheeshed steam everywhere in horror.

"And ruin my lovely paintwork?! _No way!"_ James yelped. Thomas rolled his eyes.

Gordon put on a boring expression "I'll stay here. I don't like Halloween. Too many roaming kids in creepy costumes" he yawned, and went back into the Steamworks.

"I would go, but I've been dying to see what Fatty has dressed up as, and he's coming soon. He told us he would be something 'very' scary, though I highly doubt it" Thomas told Percy.

"That's fine. C'mon Jamie, we got some scaring to do!" Percy backed away and headed towards a random neighborhood with tracks. James followed him.

Diesel 10 dieseled over (Is that possible?) and cheerfully said "Sup, steamies! Let's go trick or treating!"

"Cinders and ashes! Diesel 10's being nice! I think he wants to spread peace! _Run, friends, run!_" Toby fled, leaving a very confused Diesel 10.

"Um...anyone wanna have a singing contest in honor of this occasion?" Diesel 10 said quietly. "OK!" Edward yelled, and started singing.

"CAUSE THIS IS THRILLER, THRILLER NIGHT! AND NO ONE'S GONNA SAVE YOU FROM THE BEAST ABOUT TO STRIKE!" he yelled loudly.

"AIN'T NO MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH, AIN'T NO VALLEY LOW ENOUGH!" Mavis screamed.

Diesel 10 face-clawed. "EEK! OLD SONGS!" Scruff screamed from just getting out of the Steamworks. His dial thingy cracked.

"Alright my archenemy, since we already put our deep hatred aside because we've gone crazy, what songs would you like to sing then?" Thomas asked.

Diesel 10 thought for a moment. Then he crashed his claw and said "Pinchy says he likes songs in different languages"

"_Pinchy_ said that?" Emily echoed. "Yup. So sing songs in different languages!" Diesel 10 exclaimed.

"Well...you can get Victor to sing in Spanish or something...or Millie..." Henry said, then he got an idea. "Or _I_ can sing!"

"WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO RUUUDE?" he shouted. Diesel 10 stuffed logs in his face.

Then a bunch of kids waiting for candy from the workmen screamed and ran away since they saw Diesel's face.

"THIS ISN'T A WAY TO CELEBRATE HALLOWEEN!" Thomas screeched. But no one listened.

All except Charlie, who answered back cluelessly "Then let's go get a Christmas tree and put some presents under it! It's Christmas after all, right?"

Thomas somehow face-palmed.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Percy and James were sneaking up on some children at the Town Hall. The children were paying too much attention to their candy and costumes to realize the two engines.<p>

They had also already scared Mr. Bubbles by almost crashing into his Halloween supplies, almost scared the life out of Mrs. Kindley by blasting their whistles at her, not to mention attempted to go trick-or-treating and ask Mr. Percival for some candy.

Percy and James were still hiding behind some trucks of coal, when Percy whispered "Ok, when I say go, you...um...just somehow switch sidings and scare them, alright?"

"Got it!" James responded. So Percy moved in closer "...GO!"

"WE'RE THE PHANTOM EXPRESS!" Percy shouted in a deep voice as he moved forward sharply with James following behind him and just blowing his whistle as loud as he could.

"AAH!" The children jumped in surprise and spun around. One little girl dressed up as Elsa had silly string and then sprayed it all over James and threw jolly ranchers at him.

"EWW!" James yelled, disgusted. "IT'S THE PHANTOM!" Then another boy dumped a bucket of pixie sticks on Percy.

"Chill peeps! We were just trying to have some fun!" Percy shrieked as he got pummeled with candy corn. The children stopped and smirked at them.

"Oh, we know that. We just wanted to have some fun, too." the little boy sneered and he and the other kids walked away.

Percy frowned "Hmm...well, we didn't seem to scare them as much as we did to the others. Have any ideas, Jamie?" he asked.

James thought "We could get Emily into this...I'm sure she'll like it!" he said thoughtfully. Percy rolled his eyes.

"This is not the time to go dreaming about your crush! We've got work to do!" Percy then started thinking of an idea. After five minutes of just standing there, the little green tank engine got an idea.

"Let's start singing a random song at Knapford Station and see what happens!" Percy told James.

"And that's scaring people? On _Halloween?"_ James said flatly. "Well...not exactly. Let's just go try it out, then we can go back to scaring" Percy responded matter-of-factly.

"Oh god...this isn't going to end well" James muttered. "Shush! DON'T JINX IT!" Percy screeched.

Then the Town Hall imploded.

* * *

><p>"BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM! I KNOW YOU WANT IT! WAIT FOR ME, LEMME TAKE YOU DOWN! WAIT FOR ME TILL YA OOOOH YEAH!"<p>

Percy raced through Knapford Station with James and Thomas, who had teleported over. Families looked at the three engines as if they had gone crazy. Which, in some way, they had.

"Bust my buffers...this isn't scaring people! But oh well." James said, and sang his verse anyways "SEE ANYBODY COULD BE GOOD FOR YOU, YOU NEED A BAD GIRL TO BLOW YOUR MIND!"

Fatty was also at Knapford. He was dressed as Santa Claus. Fatty gasped "First I get the holiday wrong, and now my engines are singing random songs when it's Halloween?! WHY?!" he screamed to the sky.

An old lady glanced at him awkwardly and backed away from him before she fell off the platform. Pumpkins then stated raining down and smashing all over the ground. Kids started shrieking and running around, plus dropping their candy.

"At least Fatty can't blame us anymore for covering the tracks with squished pumpkin mush" Bill muttered to Ben.


	4. Party's and Blue Songs

**Disclaimer: I do not own Thomas and Friends, and I do not own any of the songs mentioned. All belong to their rightful owners **

**And thanks to Dreamer Boy and everyone else for the nice reviews! :)**

* * *

><p>Duncan and the other narrow-gauge engines were working at the Blue Mountain Quarry. Most of the engines were either talking about Instagram, Miley Cyrus, or Five Night's At Freddy's.<p>

"I'm grumpy" Duncan grumbled to Sir Handel, who was floating on a magical pink cloud.

"You know, your not you when your hungry. Have a Snickers" Sir Handel said cheerfully, and his driver held out a Snickers.

"AAAH I'M ALLERGIC TO PEANUT BUTTER!" Duncan ran away and crashed into Luke.

"Whoa. What's all the screaming?" Luke asked. "SIR HANDEL IS TRYING TO POISON ME!" Duncan screamed in his face.

"Oh. That's a shame. Then have a Klondike bar" Luke's fireman held out a Klondike bar.

"NO! I'M ALLERGIC TO CHOCOLATE AND WHITE STUFF!" Duncan fled and chuffed over to Skarloey and Rheneas.

"Sir Handel and Luke just tried to poison me! HELP!" Duncan burst into tears. Skarloey and Rheneas glanced at each other in confusion.

"Well that's a bit OOC, don't you think? Did Mr. Percival say you had to be over-sensitive to get a new coat of paint and not be grumpy again?" Skarloey told him.

Rheneas rolled his eyes "Well duh, we're all out of character now. You're the only one who still has some sanity left" he said matter-of-factly.

"Well I have to. I'm supposed to still be the wise and respected leader here while everyone else has lost their sanity!" Skarloey responded.

"That's dumb. Loosen up and act like...the childish ding-dong you were in Season 10 and 11"

"No! That was a nightmare. I mean, going down high mountains at full speed in a race? Not to mention I was afraid of thunderstorms!"

"Yup. Act like that. Except you might wanna scratch out the astraphobia part," Rheneas replied.

Skarloey thought for a moment "Hmm...NO!". He went over to some trucks made out of waffles. "Wait a minute. This isn't sane. I'm pulling trucks made out of waffles that don't even belong here!" he said despairingly.

Skarloey uncoupled from the trucks and puffed away to find some trucks full and made out of normal stuff.

Peter Sam sighed exasperatedly. "He'll never learn. But I await the day he loses his mind. Right, Rheneas?"

But Rheneas had already started racing down Owen's incline. "I LOVE PICKLES AND ICE CREAM COMBINED!" he shouted happily.

* * *

><p>Timothy and Victor were chatting about oil and stuff. Gordon and Edward were talking about GTA. Then Rosie chuffed up.<p>

"GATHER ROUND! I HAVE A SONG TO SING!" she yelled cheerfully.

Edward gasped. Gordon just stood there. Victor stared at her. "Oh god. I think I'm gonna need earplugs" he muttered.

"Ooo yay a song!" Timothy shouted happily.

"Anyways..." Rosie's driver took out a banjo and started playing. "This is a blue's song I wrote, by the way" Rosie added, and began singing.

"I'm all alone, cuz my best friend got eaten by an elephant .."

"I did not" Emily said quietly. "Cinders and ashes" Gordon muttered.

"My boyfriend got pushed off a cliff by Gordon, and Emily's boyfriend got hit by a giant car..."

"Oh geez" Edward backed away.

"And Edward fell into a pool and got eaten by a whale. And I'm sort of not really alone, cuz I still have the other engines! Yaaaaay!"

No engines applauded and they just started at her. Mostly because they couldn't and didn't want to.

"Well? Whatcha think?" Rosie asked, smiling.

"Apparently I got pushed of a cliff..." Thomas said awkwardly.

"And that I pushed him off!" hissed Gordon.

"And that I got hit by a giant car..." James added.

"Plus I got eaten by a whale!" Edward yelled.

"But it didn't happen..._yet_" Rosie smirked.

Thomas went up to her "Don't worry, it was still a very good and interesting song." he reassured her.

"Interesting indeed" Edward added in a very scared tone, and shuddered.

* * *

><p>Diesel and Paxton were at Brendam Docks and talking about potatoes.<p>

"A POTATO FLEW AROUND MY ROOM BEFORE YOU CAME!" Paxton screamed randomly.

Diesel put on a confused face. "You have a room?" he questioned.

"I CAN'T STOP!" James then came racing down at full speed and smashed into some tar wagons and 'I Can't Stop' by Flux Pavilion started playing.

"Uh oh. Jimmy won't like that" Douglas whispered to Donald, who agreed.

Now Diesel was even more confused than the time the trucks pushed him into the turntable face-first and he somehow landed back-first.

Marion went up to him and put her shovel up to his face. "GUESS WHAT'S IN IT!" she demanded sharply.

"Your mom?" Diesel answered unenthusiastically.

"NO! It's Sir Robert Norway!" Marion shouted, and showed Diesel what was in her shovel. It was a miniature Sir Robert Norway, AKA Robert now. He waved and smiled.

"Hello Diseasel! This is fun and I'm absolutely _not_ worried!" Robert greeted in a care-free and happy tone.

Diesel just turned around and fled to the Dieselworks.

At the Dieselworks, a party was taking place with the steamies for no apparent reason. The whole place was decorated with ballons and party stuff.

"Hi Diesel! Welcome to the fiesta!" Diesel 10 said cheerfully. Diesel just went into the works with no emotion. "Gee, such a party killer" Diesel 10 muttered, and then smiled and looked at his hydraulic claw.

"But I still have you, don't I, Pinchy?" Diesel 10 said to Pinchy as if it was a dog. Pinchy said nothing.

Meanwhile, Thomas and Den were attempting to do the cinnamon challenge. Then Gordon steamed up.

"Hey Tom, guess what?" the big blue engines asked. Thomas narrowed his eyes "Did you just call me _Tom?_ Well I guess I'll start calling you _Gordy_"

"But that's a stupid nickname!" Gordon protested. "Too bad. Deal with it" Thomas stuck out his tongue.

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes!"

"DIE!"

"What?"

The Dieselworks exploded.

The engines and diesels emerged from the ashes. "Such a party-ruiner! The poor Dieselworks!" Diesel 10 exclaimed.


	5. Plagiarism and Mints

"HI HARVEY!" Toby yelled as he chuffed up to him. Harvey was unloading some crates of squirrels and stuffed pigeons. "Um...hi?" he replied, confused.

"Why is your face so huge? Are you like a chipmunk, and stuff nuts in your mouth?" Toby asked, snickering.

"YOU'RE SO MEAN!" Offended, Harvey raced away and knocked down over 1,000 signals in the process cause he forgot to secure his hook. The next thing that was heard was a lot of smashing and crashing noises.

Toby winced "That doesn't sound good. Oh well!" he started to puff away when Millie came by and shouted,

"Toby! Go do something useful! Go break BoCo out of his storage box or whatever, but just do **SOMETHING!**"

"Chill, girl! Wait...actually, that would be fun! Thanks for the idea, Millie!" said Toby cheerfully, leaving a very confused Millie.

* * *

><p>Winston the car thingy was giving Fatty a lecture about math in some school that the kids go to. But he had kicked out all the children and teachers so one of the math rooms could be empty and available.<p>

"WHAT'S NINE PLUS TEN?!" Winston demanded, and one of Fatty's security guards pointed to the question written on the board.

"Um...21?" Fatty replied uncertainly, shifting in his small seat. The seat then gave away and broke.

Winston sighed "No wonder you can't even drive a car properly"

* * *

><p>"HEY ENGINES! I SUCCESSFULLY BROKE BOCO OUT OF HIS STORAGE BOX!" Toby announced on a loud speaker.<p>

"I haven't been on the show for over 10 years!" BoCo said shockingly, shattering the fourth wall. Ok, maybe not.

"OH MY SODOR MY OLD FRIEND IS BACK!" Edward did some kind of happy dance that consisted of going forward and back over and over again.

"Hey! Rock N' Roll is my thing! PLAGIARISM!" Duncan screamed, and his army of police officers appeared. One police officer held out a notebook and chewed on the pen.

"Edward, you have committed the crime of-" the police officer was cut off as his phone rang. He picked it up and listened closely. He then gasped and hung up "HARVEY HAS KNOCKED DOWN OVER 1,000 SIGNALS!"

"What?! I must report there at once! To the accident scenes!" Duncan raced away faster than the speed of light, accidently running over one police officer and leaving behind all the other police officers.

"It isn't even possible to travel faster than the speed of light" Edward mumbled, then he turned to BoCo, who was very confused indeed.

"What happened to this island for the 15 years I have been _cruelly_ shoved into a storage box with a bunch of other engines?!" BoCo asked.

"Long story short, Thomas went crazy after taking on some new coal Fatty ordered. And as soon as the rest of us took on the coal, bye-bye went sanity." Edward explained.

"Oh...ok." BoCo paused, then screamed happily "FINALLY, SOME FUN IN MY LIFE!"

* * *

><p>James was on top of a giant king throne slurping down 3,000 tubes of very minty toothpaste. He also had a whole truckload of mints and gum next to him.<p>

Gordon was coming around the line at full speed listening to 5 Seconds of Summer and wasn't paying attention.

"EEK!" He then crashed into the truckload of mints, coming off the rails. Mints and gum packets flew everywhere, and the large truck proceeded to explode.

"MY MINTY'S! **NOOOOOOOO!"** James broke into hysterics.

"Whoa. I think you have an obsession with mints, little James!" Gordon said, shocked at all the mints and toothpaste that had been there before the truck blew up. And also annoyed that he couldn't move since he derailed.

"BUT I LOVE MINTS AND MINTY STUFF! They're so good! Especially this brand of toothpaste!" James protested as soon as he finished crying and had finished another tube of toothpaste. Gordon gagged.

"WHO EATS TOOTHPASTE?! That's disgusting! Plus, isn't the mint toothpaste like poison if you swallow it? Let alone, eat it!" Gordon yelled.

"But we only have human faces, duuh. So it's impossible for me to get sick by eating this toothpaste." James said matter-of-factly.

"Does that mean I can have an obsession with cookies like Fatty?" Gordon asked, putting on big puppy eyes.

"Why are you asking me? Go for it if you want to. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go buy _another_ truckload of mints " James replied, and his driver whipped out a cellphone and dialed a number.

"YES! COOOKIES!" Gordon shouted happily, forgetting the fire and ashes of the truck in front of him. Then cookies started raining from the sky, and a big throne made of cookies appeared out of nowhere.

* * *

><p>"HOLY PANCAKES IT'S RAINING COOKIES!" Fatty dragged up a giant bucket to collect the cookies.<p>

"Well this is irrelevant." Reg said, who was dressed in an old-fashioned king's robe and a crown.

"HEY! I'M FROM AMERICA! AND IN AMERICA, WE HAVE DEMOCRACY! GET OUT OF THAT MONARCHY OUTFIT!" Connor screamed hysterically.

"Well, _ahem_, The Railways Series and Sodor is originated from England, cuz it's originally a British show!" Oliver said.

"What's The Railway Series?" Percy asked, pretending to sound dumb.

"The book we originated from, that then started the television series" Oliver replied smartly.

"I'm not even gonna ask." Percy said quietly.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you all liked this chapter! (Wow, that sounds cheesy :P) But reviews are always appreciated! :)<strong>

**-Blazie**


	6. Happy Thanksgiving!

"IT'S THANKSGIVING!" Thomas yelled happily. Turkey's started popping up out of nowhere and running all over the place gobbling like crazy.

"HOLY SODOR I HAVE MELEAGRISPHOBIA!" Mr. Percival screamed a very girly scream and ran away, tripping and then falling into a bottomless pit.

"What's Thanksgiving?" Percy asked.

"It's when the Pilgrims arrived somewhere in America and they had a big feast with the Native Americans..." Jack started rambling on about Thanksgiving and gave Percy a history lecture about it.

"I love Thanksgiving cuz you get to EAT!" Fatty said excitedly, starting to drool all over the place like a bulldog. The engines backed away.

"Whoa whoa wait, what about the peeps who don't celebrate Thanksgiving?" BoCo asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Um...happy...Hanukkah?" Thomas said, confused on what to say.

"I'm pretty sure Hanukkah is around Christmas time" Edward said smartly. He had on those 3D glasses that you get at movie theaters. Then a turkey flew and landed on his buffer and started pecking at his face. Edward's eyes shrank into tiny dots.

"AAH IT'S GOING TO EAT ME ALIVE!" Edward raced away and crashed into a pond, creating a huge splash that soaked Stephen.

"Ugh. I'm wet. AND I'M AN ANTIQUE YA KNOW! RESPECT YOUR ELDERS!" Stephen screamed, launching a rock at Edward.

"Yeah! The only person that shows me respect is Bertram! And he doesn't even speak!" Dowager Hatt, pointing to the little engine that never even got a speaking role.

"Hey! I show you respect!" Thomas protested.

"No, you just gave a boring ride to a boring place!" Dowager Hatt retorted, whacking Thomas in the face with her (very pointy!) candy cane.

"D:" said Thomas.

"WELL WHO CARES?! IT'S TIME TO FEAST!" Henry's driver clapped his hands and every engine and human on Sodor were poofed into a giant mansion. In front of them was a very huge table full of Thanksgiving food. And also a giant bowl full of mints for James.

"I'm thankful for the insanity and craziness that has spread across this world!" Thomas said cheerfully. Everyone stared at all the delicious food.

"Wait. How are we engines supposed to grab the food and eat?" Charlie asked.

"Well I have Pinchy, DUH" Diesel 10 said proudly.

But before anyone could answer Charlie's question, Fatty jumped on top of the table screaming "I'M THANKFUL FOR FOOD AND COOKIES, NOW I MUST EAT!"

All the people and engine's crews screamed and tried to grab the food before Fatty could eat it all. Food started flying everywhere as everyone frantically tried to get what they could while the engines stood there confused and wanting to get food (but unfortunately, they didn't have hands or arms to get any).

Fatty started devouring things off of other's plates and ate all the food like he was a vacuum cleaner. Then he was eating the plates and silverware. Next he was eating the napkins, glasses, and tablecloth. Lastly he ate the huge table and chairs. And he did this all in a matter of 20 seconds.

"AAH! DON'T EAT US!" Toby screamed. And then all the people and engines were fleeing the mansion in fear of that. But Fatty only got bigger...and bigger...and bigger...until **BOOM!**

"Rattle my rods!" Gordon and everyone else gaped as Fatty exploded from eating too much.

This also caused the mansion to blow up from a random oil leak. Pieces of debris smashed through one of the cars and set off the alarm, also breaking the gas tank. The car burst into flames. Everyone stared silently.

Gordon then broke the silence, yelling "BUT THERE'S NO MORE COOKIES! LIFE IS OVER!"

"Well that was a fail." Thomas said to himself, staring at the destroyed mansion.

Ted climbed out of Henry's cab and gasped. "MY MANSION! I PAYED SO MUCH FOR IT! AND NOT MY BEAUTIFUL CAR!" Ted screamed angrily, and began throwing a severe temper tantrum.

"That's a shame" Bob patted Ted with false sympathy, and then shoved him into a mud puddle, grabbed his wallet, and fled.

"Ya know steam trains and people, I can always go to my house and make my special Thanksgiving stuffing!" Dowager Hatt told them.

"Your little 'special' stuffing made me puke all over Fatty's house!" Sir Lowham Hatt the weirdo yelled, waving his hat in the air. "Yeah!" One of Dowager Hatt's friend agreed.

"Geez, such negativity!" Dowager Hatt straightened her hat, which an eagle then flew down and snatched it.

Thomas thought "Since now the feast is ruined...I guess I can go take someone on a date to a restaurant..."

"TAKE MEEEE!" James chuffed up to him happily, blowing his whistle so loudly a nearby squirrel lost all its fur and went deaf.

"Um...sorry, I'm straight" Thomas said uncomfortably.

"No! Not in that way! In more specific terms, take me and Emily!" James told him, and Emily raced up next to him. The couple put on big puppy dog eyes "Please?" they begged.

"Uh...sure." replied back Thomas.

"Yes! And you're paying, by the way" Emily said, smirking and then putting on an innocent face.

"WHAT?!"

Then a loud fangirl scream was heard and Rosie crashed down from the sky and landed in front of Thomas.

"TAKE ME WITH YOU TOO!" she shouted.

"Well you are my girlfriend, so sure" said Thomas, grinning.

"WHAT ABOUT ME?!" Percy squeaked.

"You don't have a date, so no." Toby snickered, who was hanging out with Mavis.

"And how do you all expect to enter a restaurant with Thanksgiving food on Sodor?" Cranky asked crankily, and then started screaming for no reason.

"Hmm..."

* * *

><p>Minutes later at restaurant, Thomas slammed James into one of the walls, which crumbled down into a billion pieces. "Ow" James squeaked, and then sighed annoyingly and yelled "You had to use me as your object to break down the wall, didn't you?"<p>

Thomas shrugged (Wait, engine's can't shrug!) "Well, you're the biggest engine who came" he said nonchalantly.

Every resident in the restaurant screamed in terror at the though of more engines crashing in, so they ran for their lives and went out the emergency door. They also trampled the restaurant workers in the process.

Emily and Rosie were behind them, and glanced in "Now that's a nice Thanksgiving feast!" Rosie exclaimed.

Then everyone else teleported inside the restaurant, along with Fatty, who had come back to life. "MORE FOOD! YES!" Fatty exclaimed joyfully.

"Uh oh" Henry fled the scene.


	7. Happy B-Day Ravenwing!

**This chapter is dedicated to and for my friend Ravenwing101, who's birthday is today! :D *'It's by Birthday' by Will. ft. Cody Wise starts playing***

* * *

><p>"Gordy, GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS?!" Thomas yelled at the big blue engine, who had been peacefully sitting in a siding.<p>

"Don't call me that. To answer your question...um, December 9th?...and if you're talking about a holiday, is it Passover?" Gordon replied, confused.

"NO! IT'S DECEMBER 9th, SO IT'S RAVENWING'S BIRTHDAY!" Thomas screamed.

"Who's Ravenwing?" Gordon suddenly remembered "Oh no! SHE HATES US! Remember last year when she gave us the wrong coal and we all broke down? Last, last year was the worst! SHE DESTROYED ALL THE SIGNALS AND BUFFERS!"

"And malfunctioned James' controls. Oh, and the coal thing was an accident, by the way" Thomas added.

Then Ravenwing the long-furred tuxedo kitty walked up. She saw Thomas and Gordon.

"OH SHIZ I'M IN THOMAS LAND! Again...!" she exclaimed, gaping.

"MAKE A RUN FOR IT!" Gordon fled.

Ravenwing gave Thomas a confused look. "Anyways...I don't suppose you have any weapons on you, right? He-he" Thomas said nervously.

"Of course not. Either way, I don't have any pockets. Though I did order some pelt-pockets last week from E-Bay" Ravenwing meowed, adding "Which _still_ hasn't come in the mail! I thought it said fast shipping!"

Percy, who had been nearby, stopped and looked at the towering pile of sacks full of mail that was quickly building up because Percy had been too lazy to pull the mail train.

"Well I have a special surprise for you! Just hop in either Annie or Clarabel and I'll take you to it! As long as you don't do anything bad" Thomas told Raven.

"Ooo, a surprise! Alright, deal! I wasn't going to anyways, I'm much too excited for that now!" Ravenwing agreed, and was about to go into Annie when Clarabel shouted "No, pick me! I'm way cleaner than her!"

Annie gasped "No way! You're the one who Lady Hatt found a dead rat in, you dirty rag!" she retorted.

The two coaches started arguing, so Ravenwing just chose a random coach and got into Clarabel. "Yes!" Clarabel cheered. Annie sulked.

Thomas was on the way to where his destination was going to be, when a pig got on the line and blocked the way, He screeched to a stop just in time, but stopped so suddenly that his coaches banged into each other roughly and his fireman smashed his arm on the controls and fractured it. A Wilhelm scream sounded from Thomas' cab, and the little tank engine smiled sheepishly.

Ravenwing, on the other paw, had face-planted into her apple cream pie because of the sudden stop. Though a bit annoyed, she just grabbed a handkerchief and cleaned it off.

Outside, Thomas waited for the pig to move. It didn't budge. He tried blowing his whistle and letting off steam, but that didn't work either. Finally he lost his patience and screamed "MOVE, YOU DIRTY SWINE!"

The pig heard him and walked off the track, muttering "For your information, I get bathed quite frequently"

Thomas took a deep breath "Finally!" he exclaimed, and continued on.

Soon, they arrived at the Steamworks. Ravenwing climbed out of Annie and almost tripped on her own tail and the turntable.

"So what's the surprise?" Ravenwing asked excitedly, bouncing up and down and peering through the closed doors of the Steamworks.

Thomas counted down "...three...two...one!"

The Steamworks doors opened and there stood all the engines and diesels on Sodor with a party set up. "SURPRISE!" they yelled.

"Ooo a surprise birthday party! THANK YOU!" Ravenwing attempted to hug Thomas, but he was too big so she just patted him.

"YAY! I GOT HUGGED! By the way, Blazerkitty actually set up the party. Me and the others just helped" Thomas explained.

Blazerkitty stepped out "HAPPY B-DAY, BESTIE!" she raced up to Ravenwing and almost squeezed the life out of her.

"Very unusual party setting, but I like it! Thank you, Blaze!" Ravenwing and Blazerkitty high-pawed.

Thomas and the two cats skipped to the Steamworks where the giant party took place.

James went up to Ravenwing and blew one of those party-blower thingies in her face before saying "I helped! Can we be friends now?" he smiled innocently and put on puppy-dog eyes.

"Nah. You're still too stuck-up and arrogant for my taste" Ravenwing responded, shrugging and then waving her paw to dismiss him.

"WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS?! I HAVE SUCH LOVELY PAINTWORK!" James started singing "Why Can't We Be Friends"

"I'M YOUR FRIEND!" Blazerkitty also attempted to hug James, but hugging engines didn't seem very physically possible.

Then Edward and BoCo started singing Taylor Swift songs, and Ravenwing ate the cake and other pastries and desserts that were on the table.

"Hey Raven, I like your fur." Rheneas commented.

Raven nodded "Thanks. I like to keep it neat. Um...your paintwork...is nice...too?" she replied awkwardly.

Diesel 10 and Diesel then put on the music on full blast, and balloons and party streamers began raining down.

"YEAH!" Ravenwing began break-dancing.

"Oops. I think I forgot to deactivate the party bombs" Blazerkitty mewed to Ravenwing.

In conclusion, the party sure ended with a big "bang" of streamers and fireworks.

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><p><strong>Happy Birthday Raven! Hope you enjoyed it and thanks for being an awesome friend! :)<strong>  
><strong>-Blazie x<strong>

**And also thanks to the people who reviewed and enjoy this crazy story! :P**


	8. Double Rainbows and Flashbacks

**Reply to Reviews (From Chapter 6):**

**jriddle41: I'll take that as a compliment...unless you were thinking otherwise :P**

**heyyl0: Thanks! It sure was XD**

**Guest: Thank you!**

* * *

><p>Sodor had randomly changed seasons in a matter of 4 seconds and it had been snowing since morning.<p>

Duncan and his grumbling-management therapist Rusty were at Glennock somehow drinking lemonade (which didn't make exact sense, since it was winter)

"Honestly, I don't know why I need a therapist. I'm perfectly fine! Don't you see, GRUMBLING IS PART OF MY PERSONALITY!" Duncan yelled annoyingly.

"Calm down. Remember, anger is not good for your heart" Rusty said with literally no emotion.

"But we're made out of metal and stuff...I think. I also don't think we physically have hearts" Duncan said.

"No duh, Sherlock!" Rheneas called out as steamed by. Then he didn't realize there was a huge snowbank ahead of him. "AH!" Rheneas didn't stop in time and crashed into the snowbank, and ended up covered in snow.

Duncan and Rusty paid no attention and continued chatting and drinking lemonade.

"Anyways, I'm still a good engine!" Duncan tried to think about the time he was nice. "How about the time I helped Luke when he was in trouble? You were watching" he suggested.

"Hmm..." Rusty thought.

_***FLASHBACK***_

Duncan was traveling up a hill when he had to stop because Luke was stuck since his wheels kept slipping on the icy rails.

"For buffers sake, Luke! What the heck is the hold up?!" Duncan complained as the tree on Luke's flatbed poked him in the eye.

"Um...my wheels keep slipping on these icy rails" Luke said apologetically, still struggling.

"WELL, THEN PUT SOME SAND ON THE RAILS!" Duncan screamed.

Luke looked even more hurt "I'm afraid my sandbox is empty" he said quietly.

**"MOVE!"** Duncan's patience snapped and he shoved Luke so hard the little green engine derailed.

"He-he...oops"

**_*END OF FLASHBACK*_**

"Whoa whoa wait, that's not what happened! I helped Luke go up the hill!" Duncan protested.

"That's now how I remember it" Rusty replied, narrowing his eyes.

"Hey! You're supposed to be nice! Not create mean flashbacks!" Duncan exclaimed.

Rusty unzipped himself. It was Edward.

"You're also supposed to be wise" Duncan muttered, putting on an unamused expression.

Edward unzipped himself. This time it was really Gordon, who had managed to fit in costumes smaller than him.

"That explains it" said Duncan, and Gordon laughed and laughed so hard his pistons popped.

* * *

><p>Cauthen and Connor were racing, as usual, this time on the snowy tracks. Spencer puffed up, feeling very grand indeed.<p>

"Ha! I bet I can go so much faster than both of you combined!" Spencer said in a cocky tone.

"Suuure" Connor zoomed past him, spraying snow all over Spencer's face. Caitlin followed, but she was actually wearing a snowplow.

Determined to beat and or catch up to them, Spencer tried to go as fast as he could to catch up with the two speedy engines. But that only caused his coaches to get bumped severely.

"**AGH!**" Fatty shouted as the bump made him go flying halfway across the coach and crash into the table where Lady Hatt was sipping tea. Lady Hatt's hot tea spilled all over her lap.

**"OW!**" she exclaimed, reaching for a napkin and ice cubes. Fatty finally got back onto his feet and looked outside to see Spencer speeding at over 6,000 miles per hour to catch up to Caitlin and Connor.

Poking his head out of the window, Fatty bellowed "SLOW DOWN, YOU SILVER KETTLE-POT!"

But Spencer hadn't heard his order, and continued speeding, his face redder than James' paintwork, even with snow blowing in his face.

"I..can...do...this! I'll...beat...them!" he panted, and saw that Connor and Caitlin had stopped at a red signal. Spencer cursed and tried to stop in time.

But unfortunately, the law of physics did not defy him and Spencer stopped 2 inches ahead of the red signal. "Whew!" he said in relief.

"Gee, Spencer, why you such a law-breaker?" Connor told him, adding "Not cool!"

Then a 100 police cars pulled up since Spencer had passed a red signal (by two inches) and all the policemen raised their guns at him. "Put your hands up!" they ordered.

Fatty stepped out of the coach looking very dizzy, but he yelped as he saw the policemen. "Don't shoot me!" he screamed frightfully, cowering over.

The same policeman who co-worked with Duncan scoffed and said "Why would we shoot? We just needed to get you out of the coach"

"Oh, thank Sodor!" Fatty put his hands down and took out a chocolate bar that was very high in trans fat and calories and ate a bite. The head policemen then ordered the other men to put down their guns and go away since only one car and police was needed in the situation.

"Actually, now you must pay the fine. Your engine here was going at very dangerous speeds, and almost made poor Farmer Trotter fall into quicksand." the policeman explained, handing Fatty a speeding ticket.

"500,000,000 DOLLARS?!" Fatty spit out his chocolate bar and gaped.

Caitlin stood there silently while Connor snickered and waited for Fatty to reprimand Spencer.

Poor Spencer, on the other hand, was very embarrassed indeed. And he also learned not to go racing Sodor's fastest engines or he would get a speeding ticket.

* * *

><p>Emily and the other female engines were trying to fix up the Great Composer's Christmas concert. They were playing the trans-siberian version of 'Carol of the Bells'<p>

Yet they were failing miserably. They already has to replace about 40 violins because the strings all snapped, 10 electric guitars since they malf-functioned, and about 25 cellos and other orchestra stuff."Ok, let's try again...for the 245th time" Mavis sighed.

"Alright!" the Great Composer started conducting. Everyone failed and played terribly and each instrument was either playing the wrong notes, not counting rests, playing too slow or too fast, or behind a measure.

Molly rage-quit in annoyance and ran over the music stand. **"JUST FREAKING PLAY IT RIGHT!"** she screamed loudly.

"Chill!" Rosie told her, and a double rainbow appeared across the sky.

Then, oddly enough, the orchestra began playing the whole song perfectly. "YEAH!" The Great Composer waved his baton around so hard he accidentally threw it into a bush. Luckily, the orchestra still played perfectly.

"Who knew I had the power to make an orchestra play perfectly !" Molly exclaimed.

"Yeah, right" Emily said sarcastically. Molly just blew raspberry at her while Millie's driver took over conducting the orchestra.

* * *

><p>"MAKE IT RAIN!" Porter shouted to the sky, hoping it would rain, but only snow fell down. "But that'll melt the snow!" Henry whined.<p>

Then Cranky wasn't paying attention as usual, and dropped his crates of melted cheese and soda on top of Porter.

"Gross. I don't like cheese" Porter pouted childishly.

Charlie then came by on a floating purple sparkly unicorn. "I like the smell of sharpies!" he yelled out randomly.

"Aye aye aye" Salty sighed in exasperation as sharpies started appearing everywhere for no apparent reason.

* * *

><p><strong>Yay 2 updates in a day! I feel so accomplished XD Apologies if I got any orchestra thing wrong, I play in band :P R&amp;R!<strong> **:)**


	9. It's Christmas Time! Part 1

"OMG ONE MORE DAY TILL CHRISTMAS!" Thomas announced loudly at Brendam Docks, which was decorated in Christmas lights and decorations and a huge Christmas tree that was supposed to be at the Town Hall. (Thanks to Percy, who couldn't stand having the docks un-festive). All the engines plus Fatty were there, since Thomas had called a "meeting".

Belle and Rosie looked at each other, getting an idea. "This calls for a duet!" Emily said proudly.

"I'm gonna go hide now" Fatty went away to hide in a garbage can that he somehow fit it. Unfortunately, then Scruff came to pick it up with the help of Reg, and Fatty was thrown into the garbage truck.

Then Belle and Rosie started singing 'What Is This Feeling' from the Wicked. "WHAT IS THIS FEELING?! FERVENT AS A FLAME! DOES IT HAVE A NAME? YEAAAAH!"

"MY NAME'S PORTER AND IMMA CAMEL!" Porter screamed, puffing around in circles.

Trying to ignore the awkwardness, Thomas said "While those two are singing, I have an announcement...again. We need to have an epic Christmas party of randomness, therefore I shall create one!"

Crickets chirped as the engines stared blankly at him. "Well, are you going to do it?" Harold asked from above. He was decorated with Christmas lights and such, but also was armed with missiles and firearms.

"HEY! That ain't festive! Take down those weapons immediately!" Diesel 10 ordered.

"NEVER!" Harold laughed madly, and then accidentally shot out a missile. It landed nearby and almost blew up Big Mickey the crane thingy. Luckily, no was hurt...except for an unfortunate goods train.

"HA! I KNEW IT, BIG MICKEY AND TUGS LIVES ON!" Belle screamed happily, shooting water everywhere with her canons and soaking everyone.

"Look, let's not go off-topic like we did last holiday! Anyways, I shall now make it rain presents!" Thomas floated up to the clouds, and then presents fell down from the sky (And Thomas himself, of course).

Emily's driver, Amanda, tore open Emily's presents. Inside was a little ginger kitten with a big ribbon and a bunch of Hunger Games stuff. "WHAT?! I WANTED PEETA!" screamed Emily.

"And exactly how was he was supposed to fit in a box?" muttered Diesel the grump. _"You_ make no sense. Oh well, this will do!" Emily looked through her Hunger Games stuff.

Meanwhile, Henry was annoying Gordon just for the heck of it. "Gordon, did you know you're fat?" he teased.

For some reason, Gordon wasn't offended by that "Well..." he paused, and finally said "This is the perfect occasion to sing a favorite song of mine!"

Hiro grew an arm and face-palmed. "Not again" he groaned.

"BECAUSE YOU KNOW I'M ALL ABOUT THAT BASS, 'BOUT THAT BASS, NO TREBLE! " Gordon sang, with James and Edward providing the backing vocals.

"YEAH MY MOMMA SHE TOLD ME DON'T WORRY ABOUT YOUR SIZE!" Fatty added, getting out of the garbage compactor and then he started dancing while being covered in garbage.

"I never said that!" Dowager Hatt gasped in shock, and then a large Christmas ornament fell on her.

Percy then arrived with a sleigh that was carrying Santa Claus. Fatty gaped and yelled "I was supposed to be Santa!"

Santa Claus scoffed and waved his hand "Not in your condition. Now, WHO WANTS TO SEE ME, THE GREAT AND AWESOME SANTA CLAUS!"

"WE DO!" The engines all raced to get to Santa first, and in the process most of them crashed into each other and derailed. Then they started fighting and screaming at each other and throwing insults. Fatty covered his ears and tried to get them to shut up, but he couldn't be heard from all the commotion.

In the midst of it all, Henry and Percy managed to get in front of Santa and actually talk to him in peace. Henry spoke first. "I want some new wheels from the Steamworks! And another truckload of Oreos, Kim Kardashian, another wishing tree, and a machete!" Henry told Santa.

"Hmm...I'll see about that. I don't exactly give out weapons or famous stars" Santa said, and ushered him away.

"I want a purple unicorn, glitter, a poster of Jennifer Lopez, and a penguin!" Percy squeaked excitedly.

"Alright. Now, GO!" Santa also drove him away and sat back down to eat some ice cream from the cooler that was built in his sled.

The engines all magically came back onto the rails and all raced towards Santa, who dropped his ice cream, screamed, and started to run away. But because he was too...um..._large_, Santa was too slow to escape. The engines all ran over poor Santa Claus.

**Jk!**

Despite barley managing to escape the stampede of engines, Santa scrambled into his sled and bellowed at his reindeer's "FLY, RUDOLPH, FLY!"

So only Rudolph began to fly. Santa face-palmed, and then his eyes widened at the engines racing towards him in excitement. "I MEAN ALL OF YOU, FLY!" he screamed, whipping them gently (or not) with his horse whip he borrowed from Farmer Trotter. And all his reindeer's began to fly. He and his sled flew away into the night sky, nearly crashing into the giant Christmas tree.

"Aw, we scared him away" Charlie pouted.

"Wait! That wasn't even the real Santa! I've seen that guy at the mall! So how can he fly and do all that stuff?" questioned Duck.

The fake Santa flew by again, yelling "I hired some special-effects guy to do all of this!". Then his sled crashed into the stationmasters house. "LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO MY DINNER!" the stationmaster's wife screamed.

"Any-who, why don't I tell one of my Christmas stories?" Salty suggested in his weird pirate voice.

"How about,_ no!_" Diesel yelled in a really congested voice.

Salty burst into tears, and an ornament from the Christmas tree shattered again. Then the newest engine on Sodor, Rachel, a dark blue and lavender tender engine, saw James and did a fangirl scream and went up to him. James started screaming in terror at the sight of his overly-obsessed fangirl besides the author herself.

* * *

><p>Well that just broke the fourth wall.<p>

* * *

><p>"Will you go out with me? PLEEEASE?!" Rachel begged, trying to put on a cute face which only creeped out James even more.<p>

"I already told you, I have a girlfriend!" James replied as soon as he stopped screaming.

Rachel narrowed her eyes, then grinned mischievously as she exclaimed "Then I'll just get you and me to go under the mistletoe!"

"Um...no thanks" James backed away.

"Now that we have all opened our presents and seen Santa..." Thomas thought of what they could do next. The other engines began shouting out ideas and other random stuff.

"Let's go celebrate Christmas on Misty Island!"

"Heck no! Remember last time?!"

"I like My Little Pony!"

_"MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD, CUZ DAMN RIGHT, IT'S BETTER THAN YOURS!-"_

"Do you even know the real meaning of that song?!"

"How about let's celebrate a _proper_ Christmas at the Steamworks!" Edward suggested loudly so everyone could hear.

"I say we do Eddie's idea! To the Steamworks!" Thomas shouted.

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued...<strong>

**Part 2 should be up tomorrow, unless I'm too busy with holiday stuff :P And of course, I do not own any songs mentioned in the chapter (duh). You guys can also suggest ideas for the next and upcoming chapters. Happy Holidays! R&R! :)**


	10. It's Christmas Time! Part 2

At the Steamworks, the whole place was also decorated in Christmas stuff and had Christmas tree. Thomas and the engines marched in.

"LET'S PARTY!" Thomas screamed, and everyone raced in, running over many tools and engine parts that were left on the floor thanks to Kevin.

Victor, who had been asleep, gaped at the sight of everyone. "HAY DIOS MIO QUE LES PASAN?!" he screamed in Spanish. Kevin went up to him and smiled sheepishly.

"He-he...I forgot to tell you that Edward reserved a party here-" Kevin looked at the reservations on his iPad "-five minutes ago!"

Victor was mad that it had interrupted his wonderful nap. In fact, he was so mad he started screaming in anger very loudly and wouldn't shut up.

"Quit ruining the Christmas spirit!" Henry's driver Ted stuffed one of the Christmas donuts (which he had gotten from the dinner table) into Victor's mouth. Victor now only screamed in a muffled tone.

While everyone chatted and opened extra presents, the 1D and 5SOS fangirls club (which consisted of Mavis, Millie, Marion, and Daisy) started blasting on 'Story of My Life' and 'She Looks So Perfect'

"AAAGH I HATE 1D AND 5SOS! Well actually, 1D is worse, I don't care about 5SOS AAAH!" Molly rammed into the radio/stereo thing. It then proceeded to explode into a million pieces.

"HOW DARE YOU!" Millie rammed into Molly, and both female engines began to fight.

"Oh god, lady cat fight!" Bill and Ben both kept a long distance between those two. But while backing away, Bill crashed into the dinner table. All the food was flung into the air, including the desserts.

The giant chocolate cake fell on James, covering him with chocolate frosting and filling. "Oh, YUCK! NOT MY PAINTWORK!" he shouted. Fatty took off some of the chocolate that was on James' buffers and tasted it.

"Hey, but you don't taste half bad!" Fatty told him, starting to drool at the thought of chocolate.

_"Don't eat me!"_ James yelped, and went off to go to the nearest wash-down.

Gordon was now covered in spaghetti sauce and pasta, Luke had melted cheese on him, Percy was covered in strawberry jam, Diesel 10 was littered with lettuce and ranch from the salads, and the Christmas-themed jelly donuts landed all over Thomas.

"Nooo! Now there's no more food!" Farmer McColl yelled bitterly, clenching his fists and ready to punch someone.

"Hey! But at least Santa's coming soon!" Sir Robert Norway exclaimed cheerfully, holding up his iPhone where he had the app 'Santa Tracker'. Farmer McColl was so ticked he smacked the iPhone out of Robert's hand. The iPhone fell onto the floor, cracked,and burst into flames. Since Flynn was nearby, he shot water at the burning device and put on the fire.

Sir Robert looked down at the ashes of his iPhone and frowned "That wasn't very nice! Do not ruin the Christmas spirit, you tidbit!" he said, disappointed. But then Sir Robert smiled cheerfully again and put on a Santa hat and then started break-dancing.

Meanwhile, Thomas had gone out from a few moments and came back into the Steamworks wearing antlers, Christmas lights, and a red nose. "I'M THOMAS THE RED-NOSED ENGINE!" he announced proudly.

"That's my funny nickname!" James growled, somehow holding up a baseball bat he had stolen from Gordon.

Thomas blew raspberry at him, saying "Well now it's _my_ nickname!"

Kevin reconstructed the stereo using his hook and random engine parts and metal. He hid it in a corner so the 1D fangirls wouldn't change the music, and played on Christmas music.

Then a "ho-ho-ho!" was heard and everyone looked outside into the sky. Something that looked like Santa's sleigh flew by.

"CINDERS AND ASHES SANTA CLAUS IS HERE!" screamed Henrietta. Toby, who had a Santa hat on, turned around and gasped "It might really be him! Not like that fraud from before!"

But then that something-that-looked-like-Santa's-sleigh turned out to be Harold being a troll again. The helicopter snickered, but then a fake goose flew into his propellers and send him crashing on top of Tidmouth Sheds.

Thomas chuffed forwards, and then the Christmas lights decorated on him got tangled into his wheels. The lights shattered and also sparked tremendously. Flynn saw this from where he was flirting with Belle and he gasped. "Fire! Don't worry Thomas, I'll save you!" he called.

"What? I don't need-" Thomas was cut off as Flynn hosed him down with water, soaking Thomas and putting out his firebox. Thomas put on an annoyed expression and did his signature eye roll.

Dowager Hatt and her friends started dancing the Macarena while 'Jingle Bell Rock' started playing.

Then Elsa from Frozen poofed into the Steamworks. "Greetings, engines! AND MERRY CHRISTMAS!" she yelled, and created a snowball magic thing which then created a Winter Wonderland in the Steamworks. Then Elsa crashed back up into the sky.

"That was random" Percy said, putting on a derp face.

Meanwhile, Santa was on the roof of the Steamworks doing the electric slide and moonwalk. And no one realized, except for a stray dog who started barking its head off.

"At least the Steamworks is now...more Chirstmas-y! HOORAY FOR CHRISTMAS AND OTHER HOLIDAYS!" said Thomas.

So the engines partied on until midnight, and then went off to go party in another place until Knapford Station fell on them. Just kidding :P

* * *

><p><strong>Yay for the Christmas spirit! xD R&amp;R, and Happy Holidays to all of you! :)<strong>


	11. New Years Eve and Weird Stories

"AGH I HATE SNOW!" Thomas complained as he cleared the tracks of snow near Knapford Station. He was using his magical sparkly snowplow decorated with cupcake stickers that plowed through snow at over 500 miles per hour.

"But snow is so awesome!" Henry said in a gangster voice. He was standing in the middle of the tracks doing nothing but blocking them. He was also freezing into a popsicle-engine. Literally.

"Can't you just change the season like you did before with your magical powers or something?" asked Toby as he chuffed by, sliding on the icy rails.

"That just ruins the fun!" Thomas exclaimed, giving Toby a well-thanks-for-being-such-a-killjoy look.

Toby was very confused indeed.

"I hate doing this job! We're all crazy, why can't we just ditch work and have a lot of fun?" Oliver whined. Duck was nearby, and the sorta-but-not-really overrated engine started repeating his 'There are two ways of doing things' catchphrase. Oliver raced away screaming.

Meanwhile, James was struggling to plow through a very large snowbank. Though the red engine hadn't realized yet, he wasn't moving any of the snow at all, just wasting his energy as he attempted too. Edward then came racing by.

"Hey Jamie! You know, you should try putting on four-wheel drive! That should work!" Edward called out, even though he didn't even know what four-wheel drive was. He had just heard Fatty mention it when he crashed Winston a few days ago.

"Do we even have four-wheel drive?" James questioned, still trying to plow through the snowbank.

"I don't know. If Winston and Bertie have it, surely we steam engines have it...right?" Edward replied, smiling nervously. He puffed away without another word. James was also very confused (and very tired from failing to plow through the snowbank).

Then Percy came chuffing along the line on the tracks behind James, not paying attention to what was ahead of him. Since, of course, Percy's driver had recently purchased him a Google glass. At the last moment Percy did a double-take, and rammed into James, causing the red engine to come off the tracks. Which didn't make much sense since Percy was smaller than James.

"Percy...WHAT THE HECK?!" James yelled at him, he was very cross (duh!).

"Oops." Percy put on an innocent face. "Well, look in the bright side, you finally stopped wasting your time plowing through that snowbank with no avail!" Percy said, trying to sound cheerful. James growled.

Then, Sodor suddenly changed weather patterns and all the snow stopped falling and disappeared. "Yay! NO MORE USING MY SNOWPLOW!" Thomas forced his driver to take off the snowplow and then lite it on fire. So Bob did, even though he didn't exactly agree with that.

"It's almost 2015! We must recall this years trends and memories!" Gordon exclaimed. That's when everyone remembered it was New Years Eve. The engines started shouting about trends and memories of 2014.

"Robin Williams?"

"The World Cup 2014!"

"Tale of the Brave came out and it was AWESOME! Well...in my opinion"

"Season 18!"

"ALS Ice Bucket Challenge!"

"Yay for the iPhone 6!"

Gordon then realized that his statement would have way too many answers.

Edward put on his smart glasses. Well, his driver Sidney (or Charlie) did.

"The answers vary. It depends where you live, because different places had different top trends of 2014" he said in a matter-of-factly tone.

"He has a point" Oliver agreed, since he was now Edward's nerdy buddy. So he also put on his smart glasses.

Then Mr. Bubbles teleported over and started doing magic tricks, but he failed at all of them. Then Bob the Builder appeared randomly and started whacking Mr. Bubbles with his talking screwdriver. Every engine, except Percy and James, turned to look at the two weird humans.

"Hey! How come I am feeling no pain and not getting hurt?" Mr. Bubbles questioned as Bob the Builder continued whacking him.

"This is rated 'T' and a humor story for a reason, ding-dong" Thomas said to him, breaking the fourth wall. (Well, not really, since this story always breaks the fourth wall anyways. )

"Hey Percy, you're my friend, right?" asked James while no one was paying attention.

"Um...sure..." Percy said quietly, his eyes shrinking down to small dots, half expecting the red engine to start yelling at him for what happened. (Another good reason Percy didn't mention the events that happened when he thought there was a so-called 'monster' on Sodor.)

"Then you'll put me back on the rails, right?"

"Uh..."

"Friends should help each other out, you know?" James narrowed his eyes.

"Erm..."

"You _are_ my best friend, correct?

"Y-yes..."

2 minutes later, Percy was coupled up to James and was trying to pull him back onto the tracks with no avail. "You're too heavy!" complained Percy, who was out of breath and tired.

"Try harder! Also, you do know that you can just fetch Rocky, right?" James replied.

Percy rage-quit.

Then Bob the Builder poofed out of existence and Mr. Bubbles ran away. In their place arrived a pack of wolves that started singing Irish songs. Then they disappeared as well, and things finally stopped popping up out of nowhere.

"Let's tell stories! Did I tell you about the time me and Skarloey raced this weirdo engine called Fearless Freddie..." Rheneas began.

"YES! YOU TOLD US THAT!" Peter Sam screamed.

"What about the time I almost got crushed by a perfectly-round boulder and-"

"THAT TOO!"

"How about when-"

"Just SHUT UP, YOU RAGAMUFFIN!" Skarloey's fireman threw a blueberry muffin at Rheneas.

"What's a ragamuffin?" Ferdinand asked stupidly.

"Your face" muttered Gordon.

"Actually, it's a breed of cat" Oliver cut in smartly.

"Nooo, you're both wrong. It is a type of pizza" Toby said wisely.

"Oh."

Meanwhile, Emily was chattering to Rosie about her favorite TV show, 'Once Upon A Time'. Rosie was also very hyper, considering her driver had accidentally dumped five pounds of sugar into her firebox.

"You seem really perky today, Rosie" Thomas commented as Rosie started puffing around in circles over and over again and giggling like crazy.

"I know right? Careful now, she goes more insane than when James was told the Steamworks ran out of paint polish!" Emily warned him.

"Speaking of me, IS ANYONE GONNA HELP ME GET BACK ON THE TRACKS?" whined James. Crickets chirped cause no one listened.

"One day, POTATOES SHALL RULE THE WORLD!" Toby's driver hurled potatoes at the engines from his unlimited supply of potatoes.

"EEK! KILLER POTATOES!" Thomas yelped, and he ran away.

"IS ANYBODY GONNA HELP ME?!" James screamed. Again, no one listened because of Toby's driver hurtling potatoes, and crickets chirped again. James glared at the group of crickets that were on his buffers. "Seriously?" he asked irritably. The crickets shrugged.

"And this is why we can't ever celebrate something properly" muttered the stationmaster while playing on his iPhone 6.


End file.
